TV-G
S1 • E1
Located atop a hill in old San Juan, Puerto Rico, the Convent San Tanco is populated by, among others, the stern and traditional Reverend Mother Superior Placido, straightforward Sister Jacqueline, English-challenged Sister Sixto who is always mixing her English slang around, young innocent novice Sister Ana, Sister Teresa and Sister Marguerita. The convent is an old, beautiful building but is showing its age and is need of major repairs - as is everything the sisters own - money for which the sisters do not have. Into their world enters Sister Bertrille, a new novice from New York, who is to teach kindergarten. Sister Bertrille is an ex-surfer girl hippie with tons of enthusiasm who will go to any means to achieve what she wants and what she thinks the convent needs. This includes striking up a friendship with local entrepreneur and playboy, Carlos Ramirez, the owner of the Carlos A-Go Go Discotheque and Casino in San Juan. Carlos own a piece of property that would be perfect for a new school for the convent, and Sister Bertrille thinks it would be perfect for Carlos to donate it to the convent. This approach goes against the wishes of the Reverend Mother, who considers it undignified and uncouth. Above all of this, Sister Bertrille discovers that the strong winds of San Juan coupled with the wing-like cornette of the nun's habit can make her go airborne. She quickly learns how to fly by raising and turning her head and the associated cornette. Among those that see her fly is Carlos, who thinks he has seen a vision and as such, decides to donate his property to the convent and the sisters. But those that do not see her fly are the men of the restricted military base into which she accidentally flies. It takes some convincing for them to believe she's not a spy. But the person who may need even more convincing is the Reverend Mother, who must decide what to do with her new flying novice.
S1 • E2
Sister Bertrille is getting better at flying and takes the occasional practice flight. During one of her flights, she is seen by Carlos Ramirez, who thinks he has seen a religious vision. Because of it, he gives up drinking, gambling and girls, while taking up meditating and going to mass. Carlos' current girlfriend, Dottie, is concerned and goes to Sister Bertrille for help, telling her the story. Although Sister Bertrille is as happy as any of the sisters to see agnostic Carlos going to church, she doesn't want him going on false pretenses, and tells and shows him the truth about her ability to fly. Relieved, he goes back to his old carousing ways and tries to make up for lost time. In a poker match, he loses everything except his yacht. Lou and Tony, his gambling buddies, say that they will let Carlos bet them in any way: the yacht against his losings that night. He goes for what he considers a sure thing: that they will see Sister Bertrille fly unaided. Unbeknowst to Carlos, the Reverend Mother has forbid Sister Bertrille from flying while Bishop Dillon is in town. Carlos tries to convince Sister Bertrille to do this for him, he saying that in a way she is responsible for his predicament. He even threatens to take back the property he donated to the convent, as he has not yet signed the papers. Sister Bertrille goes to Reverend Mother for guidance on this issue. Without hearing the specific issue, the busy Reverend Mother tells her to use her own judgment and do what's best for the convent. So Sister Bertrille flies, just as the Reverend Mother and Bishop Dillon go to visit Carlos at his yacht, Carlos the man who so generously donated the land to the convent. A convenient shove of the Bishop into the water saves Sister Bertrille's secret from the Bishop.
S1 • E3
Even mechanically inclined Sister Bertrille can't fix their jalopy of a station wagon, which they need to transport the children to the Feast of St. Anthony Carnival that day. The sisters talk the Reverend Mother into letting them trade in the jalopy and buy another used car with the $800 they have on hand. Sister Bertrille turns to Money Back Hernando, the most notorious used car dealer in San Juan. They strike a deal for a station wagon for $800, plus the trade-in. The new car ends up being a lemon. But luckily, it breaks down next to where Carlos is picnicking with his latest conquest, Diane. He manages to fix it to the best of his ability, but he suggests the sister take the car back to Hernando and get her money back. Money Back is not true to his name, and they negotiate $500 for the buy-back, but she has to come back later for the money. Vehicleless, Sister Bertrille talks Carlos into letting her use his station wagon to drive the children to the carnival. So Sister Bertrille drops Carlos' station wagon off at the convent, and tells the kids to tell the other sisters that she'll be back shortly and will explain the situation, while she heads back into town to pick up the $500. The sisters see the beautiful station wagon and assume it's the one Sister Bertrille bought with the $800. However just as the kids go off, the water heater in the convent falls apart, and they're going to need the $800 back. So Sister Jacqueline takes Carlos' car back to Money Back and sells it to him for $800. Money Back, never one to pass up a good deal however shady, agrees despite not knowing anything about Sister Jacqueline's story but indeed knowing that the car is well worth more than $800. He turns around and lists it for $1,500. So Sister Bertrille needs to go to Carlos to ask for a loan of $1,000, which added to her $500 will allow her to buy his car back. She is reluctant to tell him what she needs the money for, and he explodes when he finds out the reason. However, he comes up with a plan. Sister Bertrille is to go back and buy the old jalopy from Money Back, which she does for $15. Then Carlos goes to Money Back asking to buy the jalopy, implying that a wealthy investor is in town looking for old vehicles such as that and paying a fortune for such. So Carlos and Money Back go to the convent to bid on the jalopy. Money Back eventually buys it back for $3,000, at which time Carlos infers that the investor, while real, is not in town nor might he ever be. Money Back realizes that he has been had at his own game.
S1 • E4
The bell at San Tanco is showing its age. Originally meant only to be temporary, the replacement bell sunk on the ship, the Hidalgo, off the coast of Puerto Rico when it was being shipped from Belgium 200 years prior. When Sister Bertrille can't fix the bell, she suggests looking for the wreck of the Hidalgo. She goes to the one person with the money and the boat to even attempt the location and salvage process: Carlos. Carlos agrees, but he really has other things on his mind. He is doing all of this in an attempt to woo his latest girlfriend, Binkie Worsley. He plans to plant a false treasure map, and buy a new bell for the convent, while taking Binkie out for a supposed sailing adventure to locate the wreck and the bell. His plans are thwarted when Sister Bertrille, with the Reverend Mother's reluctant blessing, insists on tagging along. But at least Carlos can still find his planted new bell and act the hero in front of Binkie, that is until Carlos's assistant, Pedro, spills wine on the map he drew with water soluble ink. Carlos dives again and again and again with no luck in finding the exact spot where Pedro planted the bell. Finally, Carlos finds the bell, just as Binkie goes overboard. They lose her. Sister Bertrille suggests she be the flying scout looking for Binkie from a hundred feet up. They find Binkie, on the most part all right. Carlos has become her savior and again plays the hero. However, Carlos' romantic plans are once again laid to rest as Binkie saw Sister Bertille flying while she was on death's edge out in the water, seeing it as a religious vision to change her ways. As for the bell, Pedro is having a hard time removing all the fake barnacles he placed on it because what they found was the real 200 year old bell.
S1 • E5
As much as she loves Sister Bertrille, the Reverend Mother believes that the high winds of San Juan create an environment not suitable for Sister Bertrille. This is highlighted by the fact that Sister Bertrille flew through a new stained-glass window with her errant flying. So the Reverend Mother makes the difficult decision to transfer her to another convent, possibly in Rome. As exciting as that may be, Sister Bertrille is devastated about leaving, and openly shows that. Her frequent bouts of tears are due to this, but she attributes it to her allergy to hibiscus flowers. Sister Bertrille asks that the Reverend Mother not tell the other sisters until just before her scheduled departure. But the sister does tell Carlos, who is also disheartened by the news, but would not dare question the Reverend Mother's decision. But Carlos works behind the scenes with the children of the convent to organize a protest to keep Sister Bertrille at San Tanco. Sister Ana overhears the news of Sister Bertrille's departure, thinking that Sister Bertrille is dying. So the sisters treat her with kid gloves. They also see the Reverend Mother is treating Sister Bertrille with her regular sternness, the sisters thinking her cold-hearted in light of Sister Bertrille's imminent 'passing'. Thus the sisters embark on a cold shoulder campaign toward the Reverend Mother, who thinks it was orchestrated by Sister Bertrille as defiance against the transfer. This strengthens Reverend Mother's resolve to transfer her. The misunderstanding becomes known and is resolved, and everyone becomes clear as to Sister Bertrille's real fate. The sisters also find out about Carlos's campaign; the sisters suggest to him that that may not be the best approach to take with the Reverend Mother, and Carlos calls off the campaign. However, the campaign takes on a life of its own extending to the people of the community; this shows the Reverend Mother what a truly profound effect Sister Bertrille has had in her short time at San Tanco. The sister can stay.
S1 • E6
On a flight, Sister Bertrille suddenly gets dizzy and has double vision, forcing a crash landing. After being checked out by Dr. Tapia, he discovers she has an ear infection that will clear up in a couple of days. He is more concerned about the condition of the Reverend Mother. She is a bit anxious about Sister Bertrille in general but more so now with Sister Bertrille's ailment. The doctor however attributes the Reverend Mother's anxiety to work stress and thus calls in Father Lundigan, the church's psychologist, to allay the Reverend Mother's anxiety. The Reverend Mother makes the mistake of telling Father Lundigan that the source of her anxiety is the flying nun, or rather the landings of the flying nun. The father promptly thinks the Reverend Mother is going crazy. Perhaps it's something in the water at the convent Sister Jacqueline and Sister Bertrille herself support the Reverend Mother's story. The only way to convince Father Lundigan is for Sister Bertrille to fly for him. However her ear infection is causing Sister Bertrille to be grounded. One by one, all the sisters support the Reverend Mother's story. Father Lundigan thinks he's surrounded by a convent full of deranged nuns, this further supported when the sisters try everything in their power to keep the father at the convent until Sister Bertrille's ear infection clears and she can fly again for the father. Father Lundigan manages to "escape" from the convent just as soon as Sister Bertrille's infection clears and she's able to fly again. Sister Bertrille finally manages to convince Father Lundigan when she flies next to the airborne plane which he's aboard. Or perhaps she's only convinced him that he's as crazy as all the nuns at the convent.
S1 • E7
Exasperated with the sharp tongue of her talking parrot Junior his vocabulary learned in her saloon, Rose Dolan threatens to fricassee him unless Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline take him off her hands. Seeing that the convent does not allow pets, the sisters need to find Junior a good home. Unable to do so, they clandestinely take Junior back to the convent. However, Junior's big mouth gives him away. They try and reform his language to convince the Reverend Mother to let him stay, but they fail in their task. As a last resort, Sister Bertrille tries Carlos, who does end up taking Junior. But when Junior's language ruins a date, Carlos wants to get rid of him. Junior has the same idea and flies out the window. It's then that Rose changes her mind - she misses Junior and wants him back. She's heartbroken when she learns of Junior's fate. To help Rose, Sister Bertrille goes out looking for Junior. Miraculously. she finds him, just before a couple of ornithologists are about to nab Junior themselves. Rose and Junior live happily ever after.
S1 • E8
Bobbye Starr is trying to get away from her mobster boyfriend Al Caine, who she wants to get a legitimate job and ask her to marry him. In her getaway, she stows away in the convent's station wagon and isn't discovered by the sisters until they reach the convent. Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline think that Bobbye's arrival is timely, as she mentioned her job was as a 'private secretary' and the Reverend Mother probably needs help while her regular secretary, Sister Ana, is off sick. However regular secretarial work is not Bobbye's strength in life. Despite her secretarial failings, she endears herself to everyone at the convent and is allowed to stay as long as she feels she needs. Although Bobbye resigns herself to go back to Al, Sister Bertrille suggests that to nab Al, Bobbye needs to make him jealous. The sister suggests Carlos as the perfect pretend suitor. Carlos agrees after he lays eyes on the glamorous Bobbye. They make it as obvious to Al as possible, and it isn't until after the sisters tell Al about Carlos and Bobbye's whereabouts that the sisters discover Al's shady background. Sister Bertrille flies off to warn Carlos and Bobbye of Al's impending arrival. However Al arrives before her and threatens Bobbye and Carlos with a gun in hand. Sister Bertrille calls in the police, and with the siren wailing, Al is placed in a position of either having Bobbye testify against him, or marry him. He reluctantly concedes to the latter.
S1 • E9
Unable to raise enough money through donations, Sister Bertrille thinks they should go into business. With the donation of the raw materials, Sister Bertrille thinks they should produce what she calls the Nectar of San Tanco: sea grape juice. Out of faith, Carlos and one of his business associates, Luis Fiero, agree to exclusive distribution rights of the product without even knowing what it is. When Carlos finds out it's sea grape juice, he pulls out. The business is in trouble when the creditors come for payment and the sisters haven't sold a bottle's worth. Luis Fiero changes his mind and decides to distribute after sampling the product and seeing Sister Bertrille fly, thinking that the strength of the nectar was the reason for his vision. But because the bottles of juice have been sitting around, they have also been fermenting and turning into wine. So when Carlos delivers the bottles to Luis and needs to go through customs, he is arrested for trying to smuggle sea grape wine. The customs inspector raids the convent. However in the meantime, the juice and the wine has made yet another transformation, this time into vinegar. Fiero buys all the bottles of vinegar anyway, the sisters stop production and after paying the creditors, end up twenty-five cents in the red, the twenty-five cents paid by Carlos. He knew this venture would cost him something.
S1 • E10
Sister Bertrille rescues a pelican which is trying to fly but has an injury. She nurses the bird back to health, but the pelican seems content to say with Sister Bertrille.
S1 • E11
The Reverend Mother is speaking at an educational seminar in St. Thomas, and has forgotten her notes. Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline brainstorm about how to get the information to her. Sister Bertrille asks Carlos if he would fly his private plane to St. Thomas, but he refuses. So Sister Bertrille takes matters into her own hands and flies there herself. En route, she gets lost and the wind is dying so she's forced to make an emergency landing on a small island. On the island, Talc and his band of gangsters - Moon, Ben, Joe and Angie - are discussing business matters, namely how to dismiss of their partners, the Schwimmer brothers, when Talc sees Sister Bertrille land. He thinks she is a saint who has come to help him redeem his ways. Because of Talc's odd behavior, Moon and Ben think he's gone crazy and figure they'll support the Schwimmers, while Joe and Angie will follow Talc in whatever he wants to do. Meanwhile, Sister Bertrille has accidentally dropped the Reverend Mother's notes and mistakenly picked up some of Talc's notes. When contract killer Louie LaRue lands on the island, Moon and Ben take off with him to contact the Schwimmers, stranding Talc, Joe, Angie and Sister Bertrille. Before those on the plane can bring back the Schwimmers to the island to dispose of Talc and the others, Sister Bertrille manages to fly off with Talc's papers. As she does, Talc, Joe, Angie, and Moon, Ben, Louie and the Schwimmer Brothers in the plane all see Sister Bertrille fly. Like Talc, they all now believe she's a saint sent to help them redeem their ways. The pilot too is so overwhelmed, that he crashes the plane. When Sister Bertrille returns to the convent and sees that she has incriminating evidence of Talc's, the federal authorities take her back to the island, expecting a tense stand off with Talc and the Schwimmers. Instead, Talc and everyone on the island surrender to their new saint.
S1 • E12
Before the Reverend Mother goes off on a cruise vacation, she makes Sister Bertrille promise her that she will not not tell anyone else about her ability to fly. At the hospital pediatric wing, Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline encounter Charlie Webster, a problem orphan who is self-absorbed and prone to telling tales. As such, he is a loner without friends and is hard for the authorities to find adoptive parents. Sister Bertrille thinks she can get through to Charlie, especially since they have the love of flying in common. Sister Bertrille does get through to Charlie. She finds out that his selfishness stems from the fact that everything he has loved has been taken away from him. However one day when they're out flying a kite, Sister Bertrille takes an unscheduled flight. As usual, Charlie tells all back at the hospital, who think he is once again lying. Much to his dismay, Sister Bertrille can't and won't support his story because of her vow to the Reverend Mother. Fearing that she has lost touch with Charlie, Sister Bertrille flies out to the cruise ship that the Reverend Mother is on for some advice. The Reverend Mother leaves it up to Sister Bertrille's better judgment. In the middle of the night, Charlie steals Sister Bertrille's cornette. The sisters put two and two together and learn from the other children that he indeed is going to try to fly, his reasoning being that he's half a light as Sister Bertrille and thus should be able to fly twice as high. What's worse is that he plans to take flight from the top of his favorite climbing tree. Sister Bertrille and the others get to him just in time. She convinces him that he won't be able to fly and that she is his friend. She also tells him the reason for not supporting his story - which she can now with the Reverend Mother's blessing - and the reason why the convent in general keeps her flying a secret. Charlie tells the others that he indeed was lying - this is the first unselfish act he has done in a long time, and begins the new phase of his childhood.
S1 • E13
Santa Thomasina is a small remote village in the hills overlooking San Juan. In reality, it is not one but two villages, since the inhabitants of both have been feuding for years as to which has the rightful claim to being 'the' Santa Thomasina. Sister Bertrille and Sister Jacqueline are caught within the feud when they are invited by one of the communities, but end up in the other. Manifestation of the feud includes stealing pigs and stealing the statue of Saint Thomasina, the matron saint of the villages. The residents of the one Santa Thomasina's sees Sister Bertrille fly, thinking she the reincarnation of their beloved matron Saint, and who they believe will lead them to victory in battle against the other village. Despite Sister Bertrille's urgings against doing so, the villagers go to the fork in the trail to battle the rapers and pillagers from the other village, whom they portray as well armed guerrillas. In reality, the 'army' of the other Santa Thomasina are similarly just villagers armed with shovels and brooms as weapons. In the midst of battle, Sister Bertrille first thinks that a drastic measure is required to show them how futile their battle is: she threatens to chop the statue in half to give to each village. When they shudder at the thought, the villagers accept Sister Bertrille's more practical second suggestion of keeping the statue at the fork of the trail and to name the respective communities East Santa Thomasina and West Santa Thomasina. They have achieved peace.
S1 • E14
Sister Bertrille, Sister Sixto and the kids are on their way to rendezvous with a friend of Carlos' for a day outing at his plantation. However the sisters get lost on their way. After a day picnicking at the spot which they stopped their journey, the gang are ready to head back to the convent. However their station wagon isn't being cooperative. So Sister Bertrille decides that she will fly to a pay telephone and call Carlos to come pick them up. But the stormy weather causes Sister Bertrille to be grounded as her cornette becomes sopping wet and limp. Now that it's getting dark, the Reverend Mother, Sister Jacqueline and Carlos are worried about the gang not making it to the plantation nor yet making it back to the convent. Despite the storm, Carlos decides to take his plane up and look for them. He finds them and radios for help, immediately after which his plane experiences some mechanical problems and he is forced to make an emergency landing. The gang is rescued but now it's Carlos who needs rescuing. Or does he?! Sister Bertrille joins the search for Carlos, and she finds him at lush plantation owned by the beautiful Gina. Carlos was doing just fine with Gina, and wished that Sister Bertrille had never found him.
S1 • E15
While out collecting rocks for her class, Sister Bertrille parks the convent's lavender station wagon next to an entrance to an abandoned mine. Inside, she encounters an escaped convict with whom she becomes trapped after a cave-in.
S1 • E16
Convent San Tanco's nuns draw names to provide Christmas presents for one another and Sister Bertrille draws Sister Olaf, an elderly nun from Scandanavia who's one wish is to see snow fall again before she dies. The young nun connives with the U.S. Weather Bureau to produce a snowstorm over the convent with disastrous results.
S1 • E17
On the request of the Reverend Mother to bring someone in to organize the library, the bishop sends the only qualified librarian available on staff, accident-prone Brother Paul Bernardi. And the Reverend Mother assigns Sister Bertrille to assist Brother Paul in her hope that "two wrongs will make a right". Among the accidents caused by Brother Paul are the burning of the bookshelves by his magnifying glass and creating a hole in the library wall while pulling out a nail. With the latter however, he and Sister Bertrille discover some old parchments inside the wall, the parchments which end up being the priceless San Tanco scrolls. In his absentmindedness, Brother Paul places the parchments on the pile of books that are to be discarded. In an effort to get new bookshelves, Sister Bertrille deals with "Swapping Salvador", new bookshelves for the old books that were to be discarded anyway. Salvador plans to grind the books into pulp, and with the old books are the parchments. When Brother Paul and Sister Bertrille discover the possible fate of the parchments, Sister Bertrille quickly flies to Salvador's just in time to save the parchments. The two wrongs eventually do make a right as the library comes together beautifully and Brother Paul is assigned to work at the Vatican library.
S1 • E18
Widower Luis Armejo and Manuela Garcia are getting married, and everyone in Esperanza, the town in which they live, are happy for them. Among the happy are Luis' son, Tonio. However the attention of his affection changes quickly to Sister Bertrille, who Tonio believes is his mother. He believes so because she came out of the sky - he infers from heaven - and Sister Bertrille really is the spitting image of Luis' first wife. Sister Bertrille, the understanding Manuela and Father Dominic - the town's sage - feel that they can't tell Tonio the truth because it would both destroy Tonio's psyche as well as cause a ruckus due to the incredulity of Sister Bertrille's flight. Luis on the other hand just wants to marry Manuela and get on with leading their lives. When Manuela decides to leave Esperanza to allow Tonio to figure out what he needs in his life, Sister Bertrille decides what's best is for her to leave as quickly as she came, and to explain to Tonio that she came to make sure that someone on Earth was there to love him, that someone being Manuela. As Sister Bertrille takes off on her flight back to San Tanco, Manuela is there as Tonio's support.
S1 • E19
Needing a fish for a special meal, Sisters Bertrille and Sixto go to Sister Sixto's Uncle Gus Mendoza, who she considers the most expert fisherman in San Juan. However Uncle Gus has been a little low on his fishing luck, and secretly grabs a fish for the sisters from Lily's Fish Shack, owned by Lily Romano. Apparently, Uncle Gus' luck is due to the the larger fishing companies, who have modern technology, such as sonar and helicopters, to locate schools of fish before someone like Gus can get to them. Gus has been financially supported by his family as well as Lily. But Lily is facing problems of her own as her shop is behind on payments and the bank is threatening to foreclose. To solve everyone's problems, Sisters Sixto and Jacqueline suggest that Sister Bertrille be Gus' overhead fish spotter. They figure she can get away with doing so if she flies between Gus and the sun since Gus is near sighted, so wouldn't be able to tell that it's her flying overhead. She does so. It works, and Gus doesn't know that it's Sister Bertrille leading him to the fish. He thinks she's his Patrona, Santa Rosa. With his earnings, Gus is able to pay back Lily. The problem arises that Sister Bertrille can't do this for Gus forever, especially from the Reverend Mother's perspective. When Sister Bertrille stops showing, Gus thinks Santa Rosa has deserted him. Lily is still facing her problems as the money from Gus isn't sufficient to placate the bank. The major challenge is to convince Gus that the fishing industry has changed and that he needs to find a different way to earn a living. When Sister Bertrille tries to do so, she tells him of Lily's problems. In love with Lily, Gus decides that what's best for everyone is to sell his boat and to go into business with Lily.
S1 • E20
A hot spell is drifting through San Juan, and with it comes gangster Rufus Morgan, who has vowed to take over Carlos' casino. As a favor or repayment for some old air conditioners he donated to the convent, Carlos devises an arrangement, in paper only, with the convent through Sister Bertrille: he is deeding the casino to the convent while Morgan is in town, to be deeded back to him after Morgan leaves. In the meantime, Carlos goes into hiding. Although Carlos' assistant Pedro is running the casino in Carlos' absence, Morgan strong-arms Pedro into getting an official from the convent, that being Sister Bertrille, down to the casino to run things. She does so and gets conned by Morgan into playing in a table stakes poker game. He figures he can win the casino through this method. But the seemingly naive sister out-bluffs Morgan and wins everything she previously lost back. Despite this, the gig is up when Morgan catches Pedro conferring with Carlos on the telephone. The highly superstitious Morgan changes his plans for taking over the casino when Sister Bertrille hovers above his yacht telling him to lay off Carlos. Morgan believes that the vision he is seeing is an omen to get out of San Juan.
S1 • E21
Dr. Jennifer Ethrington, Sister Bertrille aka Elsie Ethrington's older sister, is coming by San Juan en route to Brazil where she is to work in the small remote villages. Sister Bertrille is worried that her sister may be bored by the rather sedate lifestyle of the convent during her stay. But her stay will be anything but sedate as she meets Carlos Ramirez on the flight into San Juan, Carlos who has become smitten with her. Although Jennifer mentions that she has a sister at the convent, Carlos doesn't know it's Sister Bertrille. And although Jennifer mentions to her sister that she has a date with a local, Sister Bertrille doesn't know it's Carlos until he comes by the convent to pick Jennifer up. Despite Carlos being her friend, Sister Bertrille is worried about Jennifer going out with Carlos. The truth for everyone comes out when Sister Bertrille barges in on Jennifer and Carlos' date. Jennifer implies to her sister that she's a big girl who can take care of herself. But Sister Bertrille's prayers are answered when the Reverend Mother asks Sister Bertrille to ask Jennifer to go out to a remote village to take care of a rabid dog bitten patient. For Sister Bertrille, it's just in time as Carlos has just asked Jennifer to marry him. As Jennifer thinks about the proposal, Carlos, Jennifer and Sister Bertrille fly off in Carlos' plane to the village. The trip is a disaster for Carlos in his perception of how Jennifer sees him as a potential mate living in the outback of Brazil - he falls in a swamp, faints when helping Jennifer with the patient, and in an accident falls on some broken glass which requires some stitches in his derrière. Carlos is mad about the situation and mad at Sister Bertrille, who he thinks has purposely sabotaged his relationship with Jennifer who has declined his proposal. Sister Bertrille is upset that the damage to their friendship may be irreparable. But Jennifer clears the air with Carlos, this act repairing his friendship with Sister Bertrille. Jennifer tells him that her sister had nothing to do with her declining his marriage proposal. To make Carlos even happier, Jennifer reminds him that if they did get married, Sister Bertrille would become his sister-in-law, which he's not quite ready for.
S1 • E22
Running into a craps game down at the docks, Sister Bertrille is renamed Sister Lucky by Juan, whose luck has changed for the better with the sister's arrival. The Reverend Mother however makes Sister Bertrille return Juan's donation since it was obtained through gambling as well as through the false pretense of Sister Bertrille being his lucky charm. He refuses to take the money back, so Sister Bertrille starts an impromptu craps game just to prove she isn't his lucky charm. Not only does she fail to do so - Juan's dice throwing is red hot - but she and the rest of the gamblers get hauled off to jail when the police arrive on the scene. Down at the jail solely to get her out of jail, Sister Bertrille convinces Carlos and Captain Lopez that Carlos, the professional gambler, should gamble with Juan one-on-one to prove that she isn't his lucky charm. It doesn't start out well as Juan wins when the sister is there and loses when the sister isn't. Finally the streak turns as Juan loses when the sister is present. Unfortunately Juan is out of money and his markers are worthless. Rather than let Carlos' lawyers deal with the situation, Sister Bertrille proposes that Carlos let Juan work at the casino to pay off his debt and more importantly work off his zest for gambling.
S1 • E23
Sister Bertrille meets Captain Otis Barnaby while he's working on his small boat, which he plans to sail to Miami. Captain Barnaby is as stereotypical an old seafaring captain as one could imagine. However looks can be deceiving. The stories he tells the sisters and the kids at the convent of his seafaring days are all tales of fancy as Otis Barnaby is no captain and is as much of a landlubber as one can be having lived his entire life in Lincoln Nebraska. Conrad, his son, wants Sister Bertrille to persuade Otis not to make the dangerous voyage. Nothing will dissuade him and he sets sail for Miami. A storm sets in and all at the convent are worried for his safety. He radios the convent. He is weak and without supplies - they went overboard - but his pride refuses to let them call in the Coast Gurad to rescue him. Armed with the necessary supplies, Sister Bertrille takes flight when the weather clears to find Otis at sea. She locates him. He thinks that she's a figment of his imagination. Once she sees that he's OK, she takes off once again to leave him to continue his voyage on his own. When Otis radios in to Conrad that he had a visit from "Sister Figment", Conrad promptly calls in the Coast Guard to save his obviously sick father. Sister Bertrille tries to convince Conrad to call off the Coast Guard, that his father isn't crazy, that Otis will finish his dream trip to Miami and that it really was her out at the boat. The statistician Conrad isn't convinced until Sister Bertrille gives him a flying demonstration. He ends up calling off the Coast Guard and Otis safely makes it to Miami.
S1 • E24
Pedro Alvarez and Juan Cortez are business partners of a produce business, Juan the business oriented partner, Pedro the customer oriented partner. When Pedro reveals he is illiterate (he can't read a letter from his girlfriend in Miami, Ethel Tarnower), Sister Bertrille suggests that he learn to read and write. He takes her suggestion and shows up unannounced in her kindergarten class. Although she doesn't think her class the best venue, Sister Bertrille is buoyed by Pedro's eagerness. Others are not as easily swayed. The Reverend Mother is echoing the concerns of traditional Bishop Pool that Pedro would be a disruptive influence to the convent, and Juan just wants Pedro back at work. But Sister Bertrille eventually convinces the Reverend Mother that Pedro should stay since his learning progress would convince Bishop Pool of the need for an adult English class. In class, Pedro has a roller coaster of emotions matching his learning curve, which is mainly flat. Just as Pedro's about to quit, Sister Bertrille convinces him to stay by telling him of the importance of books, as demonstrated by the sonnets of Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and the fact that Ethel will soon be visiting when he can recite sonnets to her. At the bishop's first inspection, he is less than impressed by Pedro's demonstration, first by the fact that Pedro didn't read but memorized a sonnet that he recited, and second in a banner he made for the bishop where Pedro spelled the bishop's last name Fool. But there is another month until the end of the semester and Pedro will have to be better prepared for the bishop's next visit then. Pedro's progress is steep this time, and is all ready for the bishop when all of a sudden he stops his learning. Ethel has sent him a letter, a letter he reads himself. It is a Dear John letter. He feels his reason for learning is no more. On the bishop's next visit, Sister Bertrille finally convinces Pedro to show up. Pedro does, not to make a presentation, but rather to tell the bishop all the benefits that reading and writing has provided him. The most important of these benefits is that he can now read the business' books, and has learned that Juan has been robbing him blind for the past 15 years.
S1 • E25
Carlos Ramirez's adopted niece visits, but Carlos has to leave the island for a business trip. Sister Bertrille tells Linda she can stay at the convent.
S1 • E26
In the will of a benefactor, the convent is the sole beneficiary of the estate. Unfortunately the only asset of the estate is the contract of a boxer, the Buffalo Buzzsaw aka Mike Sever. The sisters cannot keep Mike in any sense of the word, let alone let him stay at the convent, and Mike has no where else to go. So they let him stay temporarily in the gardener's quarters and work as the convent's odd job man. They learn that Mike is not a prize winning fighter, and has not had a bout in over two years. The sisters want to give him his freedom, but Mike likes it at the convent. They can't "sell" his contract out of principle, but with Carlos' help, they decide that it may be for the best. They get Mike into training and eventually get him a bout, at which they hope to attract a manager who will buy Mike's contract and give him the boxer's life he really deserves. When Mike finds out, he runs off. Sister Bertrille finds him and finds out the reason for running off and for not having a bout in two years: he likes it at the convent, doesn't want to sold like chattel anymore, and most importantly hates boxing, at least the hitting others part of it. He would prefer to get beaten to a pulp than to punch someone else out cold. Mike decides to fight to help the sisters, and with a one-two punch, knocks his opponent out cold, although he is traumatized by it. But they receive several offers for his contract. What the sisters decide to do is give Mike his own contract to negotiate. What he wants and decides to do is to tear up the contract and work for Carlos, not as a fighter but as a chef in his restaurant. This act starts a new career for the Buffalo Buzzsaw.
S1 • E27
Carlos Ramirez is doing his mandatory 2-week active duty with the marine corps, and is stationed on a small remote island near San Juan. His battalion is scheduled to do large-scaled battle maneuvers, and Sister Bertrille is watching over him from afar, but Carlos doesn't initially need any help as he is coping just fine with a large stash of libations, gourmet food and female companions transported to the island via his yacht. His commanding officer, Captain Daniel J. "Do-or-Die" Dolger, finally catches up with Carlos' ant-military ways. The captain threatens to make life miserable for Carlos not only for the 2-weeks but well beyond. Carlos learns that the captain and the Reverend Mother are old friends, actually cousins, so Carlos sends message via Ginger - one of his female companions - to Sister Bertrille to come to the island on an emergency. When the Reverend Mother learns that it's her cousin that is the cause of Carlos' emergency, she tries to call her cousin, but cannot get through the Red Alert the island is under at the start of the maneuvers, and thus does send Sister Bertrille to at least investigate what's going on. Sister Bertrille does manage to make it through the Red Alert and to speak to Carlos, who wants the Reverend Mother to intercede on his behalf with her cousin. Since the Reverend Mother has already tried via telephone, Carlos suggests to Sister Bertrille that she fly a letter back to the island from the Reverend Mother to the captain. The captain catches Sister Bertrille on the island before she can do so. After she tells the captain she flew there, he tries to confirm the story with the Reverend Mother, who does confirm Sister Bertrille's story. He first thinks that they are all working for the enemy until the Reverend Mother convinces him otherwise. But the cousins get into a war of words and a war of control over their respective charges. When the captain returns to the island, he does ask the sister to demonstrate her abilities, she unable to do so due to the lack of wind. Just at that moment, the enemy is ready to attack. As the military men go back to their maneuvers, the wind picks up and Sister Bertrille makes it off the island. Sister Betrille reports back to Carlos that the ships they see off the island are only decoys and the real attack is approaching from the other side of the island. When Carlos tells Captain Dolger the information as well as its source, the captain does not believe him. The captain finally takes Carlos' advice when he sees an airborne Sister Bertrille. Because of the information, they win the maneuvers, and Captain Dolger, Carlos and Sister Bertrille are all heroes.
S1 • E28
Bridgett Faulkner and Joel Bascomb reluctantly accept their prizes donated by Carlos Ramirez as the top students at the convent, the award being a day out on the town and dinner at the Captains Table. For bookwormish, self-consciously Plain-Janish and headstrong Bridgett, it is a day of frivolity that she cannot afford to take as it will take away from study time. Joel follows Bridgett's every move, as he idolizes her. On the day out, Bridgett eventually falls under Carlos' spell, Carlos who was only trying to be nice. Bridgett changes her focus from her school work to making herself look beautiful for Carlos. Joel on the other hand is jealous. Out of concern and out of jealousy, he tells Sister Bertrille what Bridgett is up to. The sister and Carlos figure that he needs to tell Bridgett directly that he is only her friend and could be nothing more, but is late in doing so and Bridgett explodes when she catches Carlos romantically with another woman. Despite Bridgett's anger, Sister Bertrille convinces Joel that he should tell Bridgett how he really feels about her. He does and the reality of more appropriate puppy love comes to light.
S1 • E29
Janus Zayukovsky, a.k.a. The Gypsy, is a reformed thief. However his dog, Raffles, isn't so reformed. Raffles snatches a purse and Janus pays the price by being hauled off the jail. While Janus is behind bars, Raffles is off to fend for himself. He comes across the sisters and the children on an outing, the sisters who take him back to the convent since he has bonded with loner child Jamie. They feel that Raffles can help Jamie get out of his shell, and the Reverend Mother agrees, temporarily lifting the no animal policy at the convent. But Raffles shows his true colors to the sisters by snatching wallet after purse after briefcase. In their delivery of the purses back to their rightful owners, the sisters have a close encounter of the uncomfortable kind with a police officer, this encounter giving Raffles the opportunity to transfer the purses from the sisters' station wagon into the officer's patrol car. Sisters Bertrille and Jacqueline want to rehabilitate Raffles, but the Reverend Mother disagrees, and decides that Raffles needs to be sent to the pound pending his rightful owner contacting them within the next couple of days. Just as they are ready to send Raffles to the pound, Janus is released from jail and sees the ad the sisters have placed regarding Raffles. However when Janus gets to the convent, Jamie has run off with Raffles. But Sister Bertrille knows where to find him - in his "safe place" on the beach. The sisters tell Jamie that Janus has come to reclaim him and that they, the kids included, are going to help Janus reform Raffles. Janus ends up getting a nice place and good job and the reformation of Raffles from stealing purses and wallets, with the help of Jamie, is going well. Unfortunately Raffles has moved onto hubcaps and car curb feelers instead. The reformation will take some more work.
S1 • E30
Sister Bertrille crash lands on a remote and seemingly deserted island after the wind dies on one of her flights. Unfortunately her cornette lands in the water and is torn, and she is thus stranded at least until her cornette is repaired and is dried and starched. But she is not alone as she sees a footprint in the sand. Her island mate turns out to be Carlos Ramirez, who is also stranded on the island as his date, April Chance, pushed him off his yacht when he got too fresh with her and sailed off without him. So now it's a matter of survival for the pair. They manage to build a fire and catch fish for food. But when they go in opposite directions to find fresh water, Sister Bertrille stumbles on yet another person on the other side of the island. It's April, who accidentally sank Carlos' yacht. She too is stranded. Sister Bertrille keeps the two feuding lovers apart and unknown that the other is on the island. They all individually try to repair Sister Bertrille's cornette, while the sister tries to mend the fences between the two ex-lovers. The sister's efforts fail and eventually Carlos and April see each other on the island, and their feud begins once again. It isn't until they need to bond together to save Sister Bertrille, who has fallen into quicksand, that Carlos and April end their feud and rekindle their romance. Their efforts to repair, dry and starch (using coconut milk) the cornette are eventually successful and the sister can finally fly off the island to get help.
S1 • E31
Sister Bertrille
Sister Jacqueline
Reverend Mother Superior Placido
Carlos Ramirez
Sister Sixto
Sister Ana
Capt. Gaspar Fomento
Roberto
Mayor Salvador Calderon
Sister Teresa