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TV-G
S1 • E1
S1 • E1
Bilko needs a new bankroll for tomorrow night's poker game, so he looks to his new recruits for quick cash.
S1 • E2
Sgt Bilko is still reeling from his losses at poker. He hears a member from his training squad was similarly fleeced by the base card sharks. Bilko cooks a scheme to win back all their losses by taking advantage of peoples natural curiosity when he rents an empty store in a nearby town
S1 • E3
Bilko's plan to volunteer for a special duty that would provide him with his own personal jeep is in jeopardy, when a new sergeant also volunteers. Bilko then schemes to take the other sergeant down, but he may have met his match.
S1 • E4
Bilko uses the platoon fund to buy ailing racehorse, 'Bell Boy.' Smuggling the horse into Fort Baxter, Bilko dreams of making a fortune at the races when the horse is well.
S1 • E5
Sgt Bilko is sent to Chicago to bring back one of his AWOL privates who has gone home to take care of urgent family business. Bilko becomes embroiled in a feud between two Hungarian families and needs all his guile and personal skills to save the situation
S1 • E6
As the company boxing match draws near, Bilko tries to turn the lack of a competitive boxer in his platoon into an advantage. Unfortunately for Sgt Bilko others are scheming to also gain advantage from the situation.
S1 • E7
Sgt. Bilko's attempt to win soldier of the month becomes complicated when he inherits problem child Parker into his platoon. Sgt. Bilko begins a complicated scheme to bring Parker around and avoid any trouble. Unfortunately his scheme proves too successful and the final outcome is not what anyone expected.
S1 • E8
The platoon's preparations for the Mardi Gras progress with Private Doberman being declared King. He selects local socialite Joy Landers to be his queen. She rejects the offer and her derision of the soldiers infuriates Bilko to the point he cooks up a plan to publicly humiliate the woman in front of her peers
S1 • E9
Company B constantly loses all bets against rival Company A, but upon the arrival of Ed 'The Stomach' Honnegan, they sense their chance to win an Eating Contest. The only problem they encounter is that The Stomach has lost his appetite.
S1 • E10
A special services officer arrives at the base and begins a program of offering fine arts, dance and painting instruction. Bilko becomes enraged when the officer, Lieutenant Parker bans the playing of poker. Sgt Bilko has trouble getting rid of Parker until the commander of the camp finds his own card playing activates curtailed
S1 • E11
Sgt. Bilko must come up with a new ailment to avoid annual maneuvers, and this year it's Wilkinson's Disease. However, Colonel Hall has a trick up his sleeve that may break Bilko's perfect non-attendance record.
S1 • E12
Sgt Bilko realizes a singing competition could be the platoon's way to warmth when their furnace breaks down in the middle of winter. If they make the finals they get a free trip to Miami. Although it goes against his instincts he decides to take advantage of a betting opportunity that requires him to bet the entire platoon's money against themselves. As simple as the scheme looks, not everything ends as expected
S1 • E13
Colonel Hall announces he is cracking down on the rampant gambling on the base. To keep the men occupied the colonel decides a series of fine art lectures will be delivered. Initially devastated Sgt Bilko soon realizes there is a gambling angle that can be exploited during the lectures
S1 • E14
Sgt Bilko is granted a 10 day leave. He is excited when he realizes the 10 year reunion of his old squad from WW2 is coming up and he needs to go in style.
S1 • E15
Bilko thinks he can make a small fortune if he can open a new bar and grill but, as usual, he's strapped for cash. When he learns that one of his new recruits is heir to a fortune, he tries to convince the young man to invest in his latest money-making scheme.
S1 • E16
A Hollywood producer is planning to make a war film, but needs someone who served at the battle of Kabuchi to be a technical advisor. The only serving member of the Army they can find is Sgt Bilko.
S1 • E17
A committee formed to investigate waste in the Army chooses Bilko's command to begin their inspection. Rather than see it as a problem, Bilko thinks he can convince the committee rather than cut costs, soldiers need a raise.
S1 • E18
Bilko finds out the wife of one of his platoon privates has arrived in town unexpectedly. To help him out Bilko attempts to forge paperwork to allow him to spend more time with his wife.
S1 • E19
Bilko is sent a box or artifacts from his Aunt which suggests that one of his ancestors had a proud military past. But did he?
S1 • E20
Col Hall decides he's had enough of Sgt Bilko's antics. He arranges to have him transfered to another post. His initial enthusiasm for the move fades quickly as Bilko's replacement makes Hall's life hell.
S1 • E21
During a heat wave, Bilko schemes to be sent to cooler climes. When his request to visit a sick aunt in upstate Wisconsin is denied - an officer found the "deathly ill" lady water skiing - things are looking bleak until the sergeant learns of a new Army recreational facility in the Rockies for soldiers suffering from mental stress. Now Bilko must convince his officers and the Army medical corps that the entire camp is in need of restorative rest and recreation.
S1 • E22
After Sgt. Bilko and casual girlfriend Sgt. Hogan attend a wedding, Sgt. Bilko becomes concerned that Hogan might see more in their relationship than Bilko desires.
S1 • E23
Bilko comes under pressure when the other sergeants complain about his activity on the base. Hall carpets Bilko and the resulting fall out sees Bilko crowned as the oldest private in the army.
S1 • E24
Bilko is concerned his latest money making scheme, platoon sweetheart, has fallen flat with only one entry. One of them brings forth a photo of his girlfriend, and Bilko sees a future Miss America.
S1 • E25
Colonel Hall is attempting to set a new Army record for inducting new recruits. Unfortunately he also inducts a chimpanzee then has to convene a court martial to discharge Private Harry Speakup.
S1 • E26
Ernie and Joan decide it's a good idea to take a break from each other. They head off to New York hoping to rekindle old friendships and romances. But all does not run smoothly.
S1 • E27
Bilko gets word that uranium has been discovered on farms adjoining Fort Baxter. He develops a scheme to find uranium on the base and find a way to use the information to his own advantage.
S1 • E28
A new drill sergeant arrives at the base. Bilko sees a new mark to skim money from. However the sergeant soon displays he intends to be in charge and will be fleecing every cent he can from Bilko.
S1 • E29
Bilko is convinced that Colonel Hall is trying to get him kicked out of the army When he learns that he's been scheduled for a physical immediately after Hall granted his request to sit out a 20-mile training hike.
S1 • E30
Bilko gets a hot tip for a horse race in New York. He is broke and concerned he doesn't have enough money to take advantage of the situation. But as always he has a plan.
S1 • E31
Bilko is in trouble with his girlfriend. She becomes frustrated at Bilkos love of a card game over her. As usual Bilko has a scheme to fix things.
S1 • E32
Doberman receives $500.00 but loses it at poker when he meets three strangers from his hometown in a café.
S1 • E33
Bilko agrees to be the best man at the wedding of one of his men; but the wedding is on hold since the sergeant has been ordered to lead a platoon of recruits in a war game pitting the Army against the National Guard.
S1 • E34
Bilko is excited when he is invited to spend a furlough in New York with an old friend who's become a millionaire. When he arrives he discovers the situation is a lot different than he expected.
MSgt. Ernest G. Bilko
Cpl. Rocco Barbella
Col. John T. Hall
Cpl. Steve Henshaw
Pvt. Dino Papparelli
Pvt. Duane Doberman
Cpl. Sam Fender
Pvt. Gomez
Pvt. Mullen
Pvt. Fielding Zimmerman